


Haze

by TheBetterAngelsOfOurNature



Series: Patience of a Saint [7]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Brian Virgil - Freeform, Codsworth is a sugarbucket, Diamond City, F/M, Feels, Glowing Sea, I love the DC Guards, Power Armor, Sassy Ellie Perkins is Sassy, Sharing Feels, Some discussions about humanity, Sparky the Wondermutt, children of atom, radiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-10-22 00:18:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBetterAngelsOfOurNature/pseuds/TheBetterAngelsOfOurNature
Summary: Suited up and clad in lead, Eliza and Nick venture deep into the Glowing Sea in order to find a rogue scientist. But radiation, radscorpions, and Deathclaws don't even come close to the real dangers of the Sea.





	1. Everybody Loves Codsworth

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! Part number Seven! This is going to be a proper long part, with good-sized chapters and as much detail as I please. The Glowing Sea was always such a fascinating landscape for me; the structures, the radiation, the layout, everything.

 

When Preston and I made it back from Bunker Hill, we were both laden down with the contents of the lead shipment I'd purchased.

“That,” Preston puffed, “was the heaviest load I've ever had to carry.”

He dumped the lead near the workshop bench. I groaned and did the same, then rolled my shoulders.

“I wonder how Nick and Sturges did while we were gone...”

“Why don't ya turn around and see for yourself, boss?” Sturges laughed behind me.

I turned around. Sturges rapped his knuckles on the gleaming, rustless power armor. It was spotless, and painted a deep navy. The Minuteman symbol was emblazoned on the chest piece in white.

“The good Detective and I spruced 'er up for you,” Sturges said proudly, “so you'll be goin' in with a full set of T-45d, complete with kinetic servos, rad scrubbers, and a snazzy Minutemen paint job.”

“Wow...” I stared at it. “That's... Wow.”

“General,” Preston grinned, “I might need to borrow that one day.”

“Imagine the PR you'd get with that thing, Preston,” I laughed. “You'd have people begging to join the Minutemen if they knew Sturges and Nick could whip something like this up.”

“I'll say,” Preston said in awe, “Damn.”

“Hey.” I looked around. “Where is Nick, anyway?”

“Headed back to Diamond City when the armor was finished,” Sturges answered, “and he told me to tell you you're welcome.”

I laughed. “That sounds like Nick. Thank you, Sturges, for the message and the armor. This is... this is more than I ever could have hoped for. I owe you one.”

“You kiddin'? After you saved our hides in Concord? Shucks,” he chuckled, “this was the least I could do.”

I ran my hand over the smooth blue metal. “It's perfect,” I said.

“Ain't done 'till you've tested it. Hop in, boss,” said Sturges.

The power armor opened like a giant metal flower; I crawled in, and it sealed shut behind me. The familiar smell of warm metal and dust greeted me, and I flexed my fingers in the huge metal gloves.

“Do you have enough power cores to last a trip into the Sea and back?” Preston frowned. “We don't want you getting stuck out there.”

“I picked one up in Station Olivia,” I said, my voice altered by the mic of the suit's helmet, “and I found one on my way to Goodneighbor, just sitting in an ammo can. You think three's enough?”

“With good sense and a bit of luck, it should,” said Preston.

I laughed. “Okay, so I don't have either of those things. I'll have to borrow some from Nick.”

Preston frowned and tipped his hat up slightly. “If the Detective headed into the city, then you're going to need enough juice to get you down to Diamond City, then to the Sea and back again.”

“You're right,” I groaned, “I didn't calculate that.”

“Lucky for you, the good Detective had it all figured out,” Sturges chuckled, “He said he'd meet you in Diamond City with a fresh core, and I don't aim to doubt him.”

“Leave it to Nick,” I said with a grin.

“Do you need company on your way into the City,” Preston asked, lifting his musket slightly.

I chuckled. “I think this walking tank I'm in has got my back.”

Preston grinned. “Good point.”

The sound of Codsworth's thruster reached my ears; he bustled by with a shopping basket full of mutfruit in his little claw. My heart sank slightly. _When was the last time I spent time with Codsworth? Just the two of us?_

“Hey, Sturges?” I made my voice as soft as it could be coming out of the helmet mic.

“Yeah, boss?”

“How is Codworth? Is he lonely? Is he doing okay?”

“Yeah, he's doin' alright. He works real hard; he's been a huge help. Fixin' to get myself one of those Mr. Handy's, if I ever find one with all the parts still in it.”

“Okay.” I watched Codsworth go inside the house. “Okay.”

 

“Oh mum, you can't believe how happy I am to accompany you!”

Inside my helmet, I chuckled. Codsworth hadn't stopped bubbling since we left Sanctuary. We'd traveled all the way down to the Beantown Brewery and he still wasn't over his excitement. Even a pack of mongrel dogs hadn't been enough to damper him.

“We're almost at Diamond City,” I said.

“Diamond City... I do hope it lives up to the name!”

“Almost, Codsworth. In some ways, yes, in others... not so much.” I wrinkled my nose, glad Codsworth couldn't see through the helmet. I couldn't help it; Diamond City was safe, but the smell in the hot sun... _It's like a pack of mole rats were left rotting in a den, and then someone started throwing hot noodles on them._

Thunder rolled in the distance, and a green haze was rising on the horizon. I squinted out at the landscape; seeing through this helmet wasn't easy.

“Looks like a radiation storm is headed out way,” I said.

“That won't stop us now, will it mum?” Codsworth whirred contentedly.

“Not the radiation, no.” I reloaded my pistol clumsily; it was so difficult to do things with these big metal gloves on. “But the green haze can make it difficult to see, so stick close. I don't want to lose you.”

“Oh don't worry, mum.” Codworth chuckled. “If I can't see you, I can most certainly hear you. That armor of yours sounds like a freight train.”

“Yeah, this thing isn't exactly built for stealth.” I looked down at the huge plates of metal.

“No, mum, it most certainly is not!”

We travelled further south, through the thinned forests and into Boston proper. We passed over a bridge and headed straight to the front gate of Diamond City. Then, Danny Sullivan pulled a pistol out and aimed it at me.

“Whoa there, Brotherhood of St- wait a second,” he said as he lowered his gun, “is that... Minutemen paint?”

I disengaged the seal and crawled out of the power armor. Danny's jaw dropped as I waved at him.

“Hi Danny, it's just me. Sorry, I should have taken the helmet off. You probably thought I was a Raider in disguise or something.”

“Wow, look at that power armor!” Danny let out a low whistle. “You Minutemen sure know how to upgrade.”

“Thank you.” I patted the armor. “Nick Valentine helped.”

“Nicky?” One of the guards gestured to the door. “He got here day before yesterday.”

“Great, I'm right on time.” I looked past Danny. Behind him, smoking a cigarette, was a bald guard with sunglasses. He seemed vaguely familiar.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” he said.

_His voice. Goodneighbor. “No big; I'm still breathing.”_

I squinted, and he shifted with an awkward grin. I turned around and climbed into my power armor. _What was a Diamond City guard doing in Goodneighbor?_

Codsworth was an instant success in Diamond City. Little Nat stopped yelling about the paper long enough to grin at him and say, “Cool.”

“Aw man, you've got a robot butler?!” One of the guards sounded like an envious little kid. “I wanna robot butler...”

“General Atomic's finest, sah!” Codsworth puffed up.

“Always the gentleman, Codsworth,” I chuckled. “Let's go find Nick.”

The armor was so bulky that I had to duck to get into the Agency. My towering metal frame loomed over Ellie's desk, and her mouth fell open.

“Wow,” she said, “Nick wasn't kidding. You really do have a full set.”

“Thanks to Sturges and yours truly.” Nick leaned back in his chair, smiling. “Glad to see you, Saint.”

“Feeling's mutual.” I smiled. “You sure you want to hit the Glowing Sea with me?”

“The _Glowing Sea_?” Ellie whipped around in her chair to glare at Nick. “ _You_ told me you were just taking a hike down south!”

“And we are,” Nick said, standing and grabbing his gun, “right down to the Glowing Sea.”

“That's it,” Ellie said, throwing her hands up in defeat, “I think you don't tell me these things just to watch me react.”

A small grin playing around Nick's mouth told me she might be correct.

Codsworth bustled into the room. “Hello, all!”

Ellie looked at him. “Eliza, you have a robot butler?”

“The pride of General Atomics,” Codsworth and I chorused.

Nick's eyebrows knit together. “You're not dragging him down to the Sea, are you?”

“No, but...” I looked at Codsworth. “I don't know, would it be safe for you to go back to Sanctuary on your own, Codsworth?

“Of course, mum. I can be quite stealthy myself,” he said.

“If you think you can do it, I trust your judgment,” I said, “but if you're having second doubts, wait in Diamond City, and I'll come back and get you, sweetie.”

Ellie looked at Nick who wouldn't meet my eyes for a moment.

“You're really kind to robots,” Ellie noticed.

I chuckled through the helmet. “Well, right now I'm as close to being one as I'll ever be.”

“Can hardly tell us apart,” Nick joked, “Are you ready to go?”

“As ready as I'll ever be.” I turned and patted Codsworth's dome as gently as I could. “I'll be back, honey. See you soon.”

“Be safe, mum,” he said, worried, “and Detective, you as well.”

“Sure thing, Codworth.” Nick's eyes softened. “You be safe.”

“Be safe, Nick, and _don't_ you let Miss Saint get hurt!” Eliza brandished a pen threateningly.

I laughed as Nick indignantly said, “She's the one in the power armor, and you're telling me not to let _her_ get hurt?”

“We'll be fine, Ellie,” I said, “and I'll bring your employer back in one piece.”

“Bring both of you back safely, okay?” Ellie's eyes softened. “I hope you find whatever it is that you need in there, and I hope you find your son.”

“Thank you, Ellie.”

I ducked back under the frame, and Nick closed the door. As it swung shut, I heard Ellie yell.

“And damn it, Nick, would you put the case information back in the folder next time! I'm your secretary, not your mother!”

Nick grimaced, and I started to laugh.

“Woo, she sure told you!” My laugh echoed out of the helmet mic.

Codsworth chuckled. “Very forthrightly, I might add.”

Nick grumbled and walked away. “Alright, you pair of hecklers. Let's get this metal show on the road.”


	2. Sparky the Wondermutt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip from Diamond City to Fort Hagen may not be long, but it is always plenty eventful. At Fort Hagen, Eliza befriends a mongrel dog, much to Nick's dismay.

We walked right out into the middle of the radiation storm. Nick looked around, then glanced up at me.

“Good way to make sure that lead coating works,” he said gruffly.

“Guess so,” I said.

“I suppose I'm off,” Codsworth sighed sadly, “I do hope you'll be careful, mum?”

I disengaged the seal on the power armor and stepped out. I hugged Codsworth, being careful not to get in the blast radius of his thruster.

“You be safe too, honey.”

“Yes, mum.” Codsworth's automated voice sounded watery, but he thrusted away. I watched him go, then climbed back into my power armor. Nick looked between me and Codsworth.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Nick.”

“Why didn't you bring Codsworth into the Vault?”

“It wasn't allowed,” I explained, “and if we'd tried to bring him in anyway, they might have killed him.”

“Damn Vault-Tec,” Nick growled.

“What they did was despicable,” I agreed, “but without them, I probably wouldn't be here.”

“Then they did one thing right.”

I smiled.

“That reminds me,” Nick continued, “Sturges said you could use this.”

Nick handed me a fresh power core.

I pocketed it. “Thanks, Nick.”

“Don't mention it. So, what's our route?”

“We head for Fort Hagen. I remember seeing a power armor station there. We'll stop, make repairs, and catch some rest. The next morning we head straight south until the geiger counter starts singing. Then... well, I think we're just going to have to look.” I lifted my Pip-Boy and scanned the map. “I think heading to the big crater on the map's a good idea.”

“You think heading to the bomb crater's a good idea?” Nick lit a cigarette. “How the hell is that a good idea?”

“Intuition tells me that's where to go,” I said, “and also, because it's at least a reference point from which to spread out and search the Sea. I know it's not ideal-”

“Far from it,” Nick grumbled.

“-but it's all we've got,” I finished.

“Fine,” Nick said, “we'll play it by ear.”

We trekked along the road out west, following the same route we'd taken to find Kellogg. Within twenty minutes, the radiation storm had passed. I checked my Pip-Boy; I hadn't taken a single rad. _Excellent._

As we walked along the path through the thin forest, I saw the carcass of the yao guai.

“Remember that?” I chuckled. “Wow, was it really that big?”

“And that's a stunted one,” Nick said, “so don't think you've seen the worst. The big ones, they can be twice the size of a man. A pair of fully-grown yao guai can kill a deathclaw.”

“Really?”

“Yao guai are the deathclaw's favorite food,” Nick explained, “followed shortly after by people.”

Under my helmet, I made a face. We passed the yao guai carcass and over a bridge; I spotted a small pack of feral ghouls milling about.

“Nick?”

He raised his gun and lowered his voice. “I see 'em.”

“Don't think I'll be able to sneak by in this big tin can,” I said.

“No,” Nick replied, “but you can charge right through them. No way they're getting through metal that thick, trust me.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Nick stopped and reloaded. “You know, I once tried to walk through College Square. Figured that ghouls wouldn't go for metal. Turns out, they'll try and eat anything.”

“I feel so sorry for them,” I sighed.

“Sometimes,” Nick said gravely, “you can still make out traces of the person they used to be.”

My eyes were stinging. “Let's just go.”

When we approached, the ferals twisted their entire bodies towards us. One shuffled forwards, then broke out into a dead sprint. I pulled out Bruise-maker.

“Haven't seen that thing in a while,” Nick said, eyeing it.

I swung the bat into a feral's chest; the nails punctured straight through the flesh. The feral stopped, and then slid off the nails and onto the ground. Nick let out a low whistle.

“It's the suit,” I said, blushing, “I think it just... Melee is a lot easier in this thing.”

“Good, because here they come.” Nick raised his pistol.

While Nick fired round after round, I swung for the fences. I waited until a feral got in range, and then threw everything I had into a swing; its head split clean in two, the cap flying off.

“That's disgusting!” I shuddered. “Oh I am not doing that again.”

“Keep swingin', Saint!” Nick yelled as he reloaded.

I had no choice; I kept beating the ferals with Bruise-maker, but did the best I could not to hit them in the head. When the last one dropped, Nick blew air across the tip of his smoking pistol. I looked out at the twenty-or-so ghoul corpses that littered the street.

“Didn't even break a sweat,” Nick said jovially, “... not that's it's an option.”

That made me laugh. “Nice work, Nick. You're an ace with that pistol.”

He tipped his hat at me, looking pleased. We walked up the hills, past the chain-link fence, and straight up to Fort Hagen. The remains of the turrets still littered the ground.

“I wish I could get some Minutement together and take this place for the Commonwealth,” I said, looking up at the structure, “Nate's old building, y'know?”

“It's a good building, but the Institute would know the ins-and-outs,” Nick warned, “seeing as that place is probably bugged to hell and back. They'd be watching your every move in there.”

I sighed. “You're right.”

Nick leaned against a broken street lamp, looking between the building and me. “It's not a bad idea,” he added, “I just don't think now's a good time.”

“You're right. I'll deal with the Institute when the time comes.” My grip on Bruise-maker increased.

“Whoa, Saint,” Nick chuckled, “relax. Virgil first, remember?”

“Right.”

I walked through the streets until I found the power armor station I'd seen the last time we'd been at Hagen. The seal on the armor released; I pushed myself out of it. Examining the armor, I only found a few scratches on the paint and a dent or two.

“This thing is amazing,” I grinned, “I love it.”

I looked up at the towering metal armor. _This is going to help me find Virgil. Find Virgil, find the Institute. Find the Institute, find Shaun. This is going to help me find Shaun. I'm going to find Shaun._

The very thought of having him back made my chest swell with excitement. The pressure of joy mounted until I laughed and threw my arms around the armor, giving it a big hug.

“Should I leave you two alone,” Nick drawled cynically.

I laughed. “I'm gonna find Shaun! It's just finding Virgil and then finding the Institute and then finding Shaun! Ah, we're almost there, isn't that great?”

“Don't get your hopes too far up, Saint,” Nick warned, “Virgil could refuse to help us. Or worse, be dead.”

My blood chilled; I hadn't thought of that. Sliding my hands in my pockets, I stared, wide-eyed, at the ground. _What if he is dead? What will I do?_

“But...” Nick struggled with lighting a cigarette. “I mean, don't lose hope. You'll find him, I know ya will, just... it's not gonna be as easy as you think.”

“Oh, I know that, Nick.” I sat down next to an old, charred campfire. “I know it's going to be hard. I'm just glad we've made it this far.”

He chuckled. “Is that all? I could have told you that you'd make it this far, at least. The moment you appeared in that Vault window, I knew there wasn't much that could stop you.”

“Kellogg almost did,” I said.

“You kiddin'?” Nick scoffed. “You blew his gourd up like a ripe melon.”

I crossed my legs. “I mean, him dying. It was either me or him, and if you hadn't volunteered at the Den... I wouldn't know Virgil existed. I wouldn't know my son is okay. So when I say I'm glad we made it this far, I mean _we_ made it this far.”

Nick sat down next to me and held his lighter to the campfire. He clicked it a few times, and suddenly a tiny scarlet flame was licking along the wood.

“Best find something to put on this,” he said softly, “or you'll freeze out here.”

I stood up and went looking for junk. Nick stayed and tended the fire. While I was out, I grabbed everything that would fit in my pockets. I was shoving bowling pins into my bag when I heard paw pads behind me. Turning around, I saw a mongrel dog lift its scarred and hairless head.

“Bad dog,” I said firmly, “sit!”

The dog looked at me. Then, it sat.

“Are you... are you trained?” I stood up and edged towards it slightly. _This is a first._

The mongrel limped forwards, whimpering. A trail of blood followed it. 

“Oh, you're hurt!” I crossed to it. “Okay, let's see what we can do.”

I examined the wound. It looked like another dog had taken a chunk out of her; it wasn't infected, but it would be if it wasn't bandaged. I looked at my pile of junk.  _I can make a bandage out of that, yeah._

 

When I walked back into camp, Nick looked up at me. He did a double-take, then grabbed for his pistol.

“Whoa, whoa!” I threw my hands up. “It's okay. She was hurt; I gave her a Stimpak and wrapped the wound. She's okay.”

“She... you gave a mongrel dog a Stimpak?” Nick's tone became angry. “Right before we go into the most dangerous part of the Commonwealth, you start handing out Stims to mutts.”

“You don't complain when I do it for Dogmeat,” I said, “so why is it different when I give one to Sparky?”

“'Sparky'?” Nick's expression contorted into contempt and disbelief.

“Sparky,” I said calmly, “Sparky, meet Nick. Nick, this is Sparky.”

Sparky looked at Nick and wagged her bony tail. Nick looked at her, then leaned to get a look at her bandage. 

“You used up duct tape,” Nick sighed, “why am I not surprised?”

“I can get more duct tape and I can get more Stims,” I said, “but I can't go back in time and save Sparky.”

Nick said nothing, but went to lean against a brick building and smoke.  _Keeping guard, I guess._ Sparky came over and sat next to me as I warmed myself by the fire. Nick had kept it going, so it crackled and flicked with a deep, cozy warmth. Sparky yawned, showing gnarled yellow teeth, then curled up next to me. I smiled and rubbed her back. It felt just like touching radstag hide or a Brahmin; rough in texture, but soft in feel.

“You're going to get along so well with people now,” I said softly, “and just wait until you meet Dogmeat.”

She opened one dark eye. Her head lifted, and she looked at Nick. He was usually barely discernible from the wasteland's tans and greys, but the glow of his cigarette outlined him in a scarlet light. 

“Don't worry, Sparky,” I said, “he's much sweeter than he lets on. He'll grow on you, you'll see. And you'll grow on him, don't worry. He likes dogs.”

Sparky's bony tail wagged, and I scratched her back gently. Her eyes closed, and a minute or two later, I heard her snoring. I covered my grin.  _Silly dog._

“Is that your mutt snoring, or you?” Nick turned his head just enough to direct his voice back at me, carrying with it his tone. It wasn't quite angry or upset, just...  _Unenthused? I can't quite put my finger on it._

“That's Sparky,” I said.

“Get some sleep, then,” he said, “I'll keep both eyes out for danger, seeing as your loyal pup can't be spared to do it.”

I sighed. _Nick's in a bad mood. Okay._ “Thank you, Nick. I appreciate it. Please wake me up if you get tired.”

He grunted non-commitally. I curled up on the dark mattress, my back to the warmth of the fire. _This time tomorrow, I could be meeting a real Institute scientist._ My heart lifted, and then a tiny, Kellogg-like voice reminded me, _This time tomorrow, you could be dead._

“Not on my watch,” Nick grumbled.

I lifted my head. _Did he just read my thoughts?_

No; Nick had crossed over and dumped wood on the dying fire. My head lowered. _Synths can't read minds, Eliza. Get it together._

I rolled on my back and stared up at the stars. They were the one thing about the environment that hadn't gone to dust. _Is Shaun seeing these same stars? Is he smelling this same wind?_

I closed my eyes.  _Wherever you are, sweetheart... Goodnight._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sparky the Wondermutt is the second-best dog in the Commonwealth (after Dogmeat, of course) and is one of the best random encounters in the game, in my opinion.


	3. Mistakes of Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Glowing Sea; miles and miles of sizzling radiation, savage beasts, and strange people. Eliza finds herself carrying the guilt of two hundred years of humanity's errors, but Nick isn't about to let her carry the weight of past worlds on her shoulders.  
> At least, not alone.

“You know,” Nick said as we stared out at the sickly haze, “whoever named this place didn't have a firm concept of what a 'sea' was.”

Nick and I had made it to the edge of the Glowing Sea. When we left Fort Hagen, I had decided it was too dangerous for Sparky, so I sent her to Sanctuary. Nick mentioned that she'd probably get shot to death if she got anywhere near people. So, I'd marked the Minutemen symbol on a blue cloth and tied it around her chest; hopefully Preston would see it and _not_ shoot her. I'd had to change out a power core an hour or two after leaving Hagen, but Nick and I had made good time. Now, we stood at the edge of the unknown.

“It's so huge...” My voice sounded odd to me through the power armor. “I hope we find Virgil before the Institute does.”

“We will. The Institute relied on Kellogg for all the dirty work, and synths would have a hard time working in these kind of conditions. They're not built for this kind of wear and tear; I should know,” he grumbled.

I looked at him. “Are you sure you'll be--”

“I didn't mean I couldn't do it,” Nick said defensively, “I'm safer than you are out here, except for that tin can you're walking around in.”

“Well, if these conditions prove to be too much wear and tear, maybe we'll switch places.” I started walking. “Your delicate circuitry can reside in this big walking tank, and I'll just take my chances and hope I end up a Ghoul.”

“No need to get sassy, Saint.”

“Then stop getting defensive every time I ask if you're okay.” I checked my rad meter absentmindedly. “I'm not doing it because I don't think you can take care of yourself. I know you can. I'm doing it because I care if you're okay or not.”

The sound of our feet crunching through the ash was all I heard for a couple minutes. I looked back at Nick just to see if he was still there; he was trudging along by my side, just like usual. His face was nearly expressionless, but the slight crease between his eyebrows told me he was deep in thought.

“Hey,” I said.

Nick looked up.

“Head in the game, Valentine. I need you watching my back.”

“Right. Sorry,” he mumbled, his eyes darting around.

We crested a huge hill of debris and looked down; a highway was half-sunk in ash, the end of it jutting out into the sky like a broken bone. Below it, a Red Rocket station was drowning in a pool of slick radioactive fluid. A few cars, more rust than metal, laid around it like dead roaches.

“We did this,” I said, blinking back tears.

“What was that?”

“We did this.” I looked out at the desolate landscape. “People. We did this. We did this to ourselves. We ruin everything. We burned the earth, we smogged the sky, we turned ourselves into ghouls... we did this. And we didn't even learn from it.”

Nick looked up at me. “Well, hey, _you_ didn't do this.”

“No, but... But why don't people learn, Nick? We did this to the earth, we destroy people we don't understand, and then... and then we build people like you, Nick, people with hopes and dreams and feelings and lives, and we just... we don't _care_. And I'm so happy that people like you exist, but we just, we treat you so badly, and...”

“Saint, you don't have to-”

“Yes, I do. I'm so sorry that humans did this, Nick. I'm sorry that they do this to synths that they created. I'm sorry they do it to each other and I'm sorry they do it to you. And I'm sorry that no one cares.” Tears were staining the inside of my visor. “Why don't we _care,_ Nick?”

He must've been able to hear my voice crack through the helmet mic, because he took my armor-plated hand and pulled me along.

“Let's get you inside, Eliza,” he said softly, “I think you need a break.”

“But Virgil.”

“Virgil can wait.”

 

Inside the Red Rocket station was water up to my knees, but the radiation seemed to be unable to penetrate the building. Nick led me up to a dry spot and crossed his arms.

“Alright,” he growled, “out of the suit.”

“But the rads, what about the rads?”

“Do you hear any geiger clicking? No. Now get out before I have to get a can opener.”

Surprised, I flipped the release switch. The suit opened, and I stepped out. Outside of the warm metal suit, the damp air felt unusually cold, and I rubbed my arms. Nick grabbed a burnt, rusty chair and swung it out for me.

“Take a sit,” he said, rolling up a metal barrel as his chair.

I sat, a little confused. There were tear tracks on my face; I wiped them away with my sleeve.

“If this is about the crying, Nick, I'm fine, really. It just... it hits me, sometimes. Remember Hagen, after Kellogg?”

“No,” he growled, “you're not fine. You're stupid.”

That took me aback. “Wow. Don't hold back, do you?”

“Maybe not stupid, just... blind.”

“... _Wow_. You sure do know how to compliment a lady.”

“Let me explain before you start being a smartass,” he said sternly, “alright? Look, this... this whole world, it's not your fault. People make bad decisions. We all do. But I'm going to tell you something that I've got no proof for, and you're just going to have to trust me.”

Nick's golden eyes bored into mine. I shifted in my seat and nodded.

“People,” he continued, “are inherently good. And goodness, justice, peace, mercy, love, compassion... that exists. And it's worth fighitng for.”

I nodded, and Nick smiled.

“Don't look at this world as proof that humanity failed,” he said, “but as proof that even the biggest, dumbest, most evil sons-of-bitches in the world couldn't destroy the goodness of humanity.”

I laughed. Nick smiled a little wider and lit a cigarette. The tip flared orange in the gloom, warming his face with a firey light.

“You know why I'm hiking through the godforsaken Glowing Sea with a lawyer in a tin can?”

“Because you're a good person.” I smiled. “And a professional detective never leaves a case unsolved.”

The cigarette nearly dropped out of his mouth, and his metal fingers slipped on the lighter as he stowed it in his pocket. He didn't quite meet my eyes as he said, roughly, “No, but thanks.”

“Alright then, why?”

“You're so _good_ , Eliza. You're willing to lend anybody a hand. People, synths, mongrel mutts,” Nick flicked his cigarette in his mouth, “no matter how reckless.You don't just keep me getting up every day; you've got a reason to get up. And you share that with people.”

“Share... what?” I frowned. “I mean, thank you, that's very sweet of you to say, but... what am I sharing?”

“Hope, Saint. You give people hope. Hell,” Nick chuckled, “to those folks in Sanctuary, you're... you're damn near incorruptible. Sturges told me about everything you've done for them, for the Minutemen... You're trying to make the Commonwealth a better place. You're everything that humanity ought to be. You're golden. You're... well, a saint.”

I opened my mouth to protest. _I'm not a saint, I'm a lawyer with a handgun I barely know how to use walking along in a big metal suit that I couldn't even fix without your help--_ But as soon as I opened my mouth, Nick flicked his cigarette at me.

“Don't interrupt,” he growled with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, but grinned.

“You've got a real do-gooder streak, and that's part of the reason I've stuck around. I saw you wanted to help people out here, and you do. There we are about to go to the most dangerous damn part of the whole damn Commonwealth, and you're out here giving Stimpaks to mutts and jumping in front of bullets in Diamond City.”

“I was hoping you'd forgotten about the intercepting-bullets thing,” I said, not meeting his eyes, but Nick laughed.

“It's crazy, but it's the good kind of crazy. Now, that's the kind of person I wanted to travel with.” Nick leaned back on the barrel, his smile illuminated by the tip of his cigarette. “Look, mankind's done a lot of rotten things. Maybe playing God and making synths was a mistake. Maybe we're just the evidence of the arrogance of man. Maybe if a group of people less focused on being selfish, arrogant bastards had made us, things would have worked out better for synthkind. But you, you're the antithesis of everything the Institute stands for.”

Nick watched me for a second, then leaned forwards. His voice dropped to a soft, low timbre.

“Look, I didn't ask to be made. None of us did. But if any of us had been made by someone like you, we'd be damn glad to exist. I’ve been alive for a long damn time, and the old Nick Valentine a long damn time before that, but as far as humanity goes, you're the best example I've ever seen.”

I stared at him, and my eyes stung. He frowned at me as I quickly wiped my eyes on my sleeve again.

“What's with the waterworks, Saint?”

“That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me,” I said with a watery laugh, “in two-hundred-and-ten years.”

“Yeah, well, don't let it get to your head.” Nick took a draw from his cigarette. “Giving the mutt a Stimpak was selfless, but also risky. You're still a lousy shot, and as far as brawn goes, maybe you should have tried using some of those lead dumbells before we slapped them onto that suit.”

That made me laugh. Nick's expression of calculated disdain broke just long enough for the corner of his mouth to twitch up into a smile.

“Alright, Detective.” I stood up, chuckling. “As much as I truly, deeply enjoyed this break, we do have to keep moving.”

“Right you are,” said Nick as he dropped his cigarette into the water.

I sealed myself back up into the power armor while Nick went outside. When I ducked under the doorway and back into the Glowing Sea, he was firing shots into the face of a giant crimson radscorpion.

“Nothing needs that many limbs!” Nick yelled as he pistol-whipped it.

Another radscorpion popped out of the ground and immediately jabbed its stinger at me. The tip bounced harmlessly off the armor. I loaded my shotgun and fired both shells at it; it hissed as one of them found its mark. While I reloaded, it clamped its claw on my ankle. I winced; the pressure was uncomfortable. I fired again, and this time one of the shells punctured into its head. It shrieked and let go, protecting its face with its claws.

“Eliza!”

I turned; the other radscorpion had grabbed ahold of Nick's leg and was dragging him towards a tunnel. Instinctively I launched myself at it. Five hundred pounds of steel, lead, and Eliza landed on top of the scorpion. When I got up, it wasn't moving.

“Radscorpion pancake,” Nick chuckled, “think it'll catch on?”

Something black and barbed lashed out into Nick's shoulder, and he cried out. The other radscorpion, still leaking blood from the hole in its head, had scuttled up to us. I punched it and felt the satistfying crack of its exoskeleton snapping open. Nick fired a few bullets into its cranium until every last one of its legs stopped moving.

“Fun,” he growled. He looked at the tunnel the radscorpion had almost dragged him in. “Where do you suppose that leads?”

“Towards trouble,” I reasoned.

We looked at each other. Nick's expression was wary.

“Are you seriously thinking about going in there?”

“Thinking about it, no way” I chuckled, “I'm already set on it. Down we go.”

Nick's eyes widened. “Have you lost it?”

“Yes, Nick, I have lost 'it', and I'm going to find Virgil to go get 'it' back.” I walked into the tunnel. “And nothing is going to stop me from getting 'it' back from the Institute. If I can handle Conrad Kellogg, I can handle a scary tunnel.”

I heard Nick sigh, but still his familiar footsteps followed me. I stopped and turned around. His yellow eyes glowed in the darkness.

“What is it,” he grumbled, “are we gonna go tickle a Deathclaw next?”

“No,” I said, “I just wanted to thank you for coming here with me. You're very brave.”

For a few seconds we stood there looking at each other. I couldn't see his expression because of the dark, and he couldn't see mine because of the helmet.

“I... Thanks,” he said finally, “but we're not done yet. Let's keep moving.”

He walked in front of me, and I followed. For some reason, I was sweating slightly. _Must be the heat in this suit. I wasn't nervous about coming down here, why would I be nervous now? It's just warm in here._

The other end of the tunnel spat us up in front of a huge hill. Rusted metal and garbage peppered the ground and steel beams jutted out at awkward angles. As we climbed it, my heavy feet kept sinking into piles of garbage. Nick wasn't faring any better; every time he found something to grip onto, it crumbled to pieces under his grip.

“This place...” he said through gritted teeth, “it's like someone extinguished hell.”

“That's the most accurate description I've ever heard anyone apply to anything,” I said, half-laughing, half-gasping for air, “you should be a poet.”

Nick laughed, then snarled as a rusty chunk of metal dropped from the wreckage above, narrowly missing his shoulder.

“Even the landscape wants to kill us,” he observed.

I made it to the top, turned around, and reached out a hand. “Come on.”

He grabbed the metal glove, and I lifted him up onto the crest of the hill. Nick squared his shoulders and adjusted his trenchcoat. We both stared out at the swells of orange liquid that pooled in front of us, glowing with an unnatural light.

“Don't swallow that,” Nick said flatly.

“Yes, Nick,” I said impatiently, “my first thought upon seeing pools of radioactive liquid that have been stewing for two-hundred-and-ten years is, 'Hot damn, does _that_ look thirst-quenching!' ”

Nick laughed, and the sound wavered off into the air. We skirted the edge of the pools; every so often I would check my Pip-Boy, just to make sure we were heading in the right direction. We crested another hill and looked down.

“I don't believe it,” I said.

“Are those...” Nick squinted. “People, living there?”

“Living in the crater,” I breathed, “all of them.”

Understanding dawned on Nick's face. “The Children of Atom.”

I turned. “The Children of who, now?”

“They're a cult,” Nick explained, “that worships radiation. They're usually harmless, but some of them get it into their heads to start 'purging the world of unbelievers.'”

“A religious war,” I said, “I get it. Let's try this without guns, first.”

“Good plan,” said Nick.

We half-ran, half-slid down the hill of rubble, coming to rest in front of the crater. Gaunt-eyed people, their skin bored by radiation, shuffled around in odd rags.

“What should I be watching for,” I said quietly.

“Don't let them recruit you,” Nick replied softly, “because once you're part of their little family, everyone else in your life becomes the enemy. They turn you against your real family so you need them, instead. Divide and conquer; their favorite recruiting tactic.”

I looked at Nick. “They can try.”

I stalked up to a woman in slightly-more-elaborate robes.

“Hold there, stranger.” She stepped back slightly. “You walk upon Atom's holy ground. State your purpose, or be divided in his Sight!”

“I don't want trouble,” I said firmly, “I'm looking for someone. A scientist, named Brian Virgil.”

“Yes. We know this Virgil.” The woman looked at me sideways. “What do you want with him?”

“Information.” I took a deep breath. “I don't want to hurt him, I just need to know what he knows. I'll go away and step off your... holy ground, or whatever. I just need to speak with Virgil.”

“This Virgil. We know where he lives. He has come to trade with us on several occasions.” The woman glanced around, then dropped her tone confidentially. “Some here believe his presence is an affront to Atom.”

Behind the helmet, my eyes lidded. _Lady, you're living in the crater of the bomb that crushed half the state of Massachusettes. You're an affront to all reason and logic._

“He resides in a cave, just south of here.” The woman frowned. “I would be careful, were I you. I feel he does not want visitors.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“Atom guide you,” she replied.

I glanced around at the metal shacks and glowing liquid. _If this is where Atom guides people, I'll pass._

Nick was standing behind me; several of the Children of Atom were eyeing him. I went to stand beside him, and they dispersed.

“I think they were eyeing me for scrap,” he said warily.

“Actually, I think they've never seen a Synth before,” I said, “remember? The Institute never comes here unless it absolutely has to.”

Nick's shoulders relaxed. “Thank God. I'd rather be considered a freak than scrap metal.”

I smiled behind the mask of the helmet. “You're not a freak and you're not scrap metal.”

“Preaching to the choir, Saint, but thanks.” Nick looked around. “So this is our starting point?”

“She gave me a little direction. We're looking for another cave, south of here.” I checked my Pip-Boy. “Doesn't look far, actually.”

“Should we get a move on?”

The Children of Atom had built a metal structure over the impact crater. Vivid-colored liquid lurked beneath it. I stared at it. _So that's where this all began._

“Eliza?”

“Just give me one second,” I said.

I stepped over the stairs and entered the building. Through the cracks in the floor, I could see the radioactive liquid below. I stood in the exact middle of the crater and closed my eyes. _This is where it hit. This is where this started. Two-hundred-and-ten years ago, the world ended... right here._

“Are you meditating, sister?” A woman with bald patches and carrying a strange weapon questioned me.

“Not really,” I said, “just wishing mankind had been smarter.”

She nodded. “If only we had been shown the glory of Atom before now.”

I looked at her. “Have you ever heard of the Bible?”

She blinked, and shook her head. “Is it full of the glory of Atom?”

 _These poor people; they've never even heard of the Bible_. My heart sank.

“No,” I said, “it contains a... a different kind of light.”

“Atom is all light,” she said.

I sighed, and exited the metal building.

_How much we've lost._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys thought you were just going to get ONE chapter update?! Aha! SECOND update!
> 
> Actually, this section just proved really easy to write. *Shrug*


	4. The Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short; I haven't had time to write on this in a long while! So sorry!

Nick and I didn't talk much as we trekked south towards Virgil's cave. I was so wrapped up in my melancholy thoughts of the world I'd lost that I didn't notice until areen crack of lighting streaked through the sky, and the low, resounding rumble broke the silence.

“How far,” Nick asked.

“Not much further,” I said, “just over that ridge.”

We relapsed into silence. Only a few weeks ago, this kind of silence would have been unbearably awkward; now, it was just... noticably present. Rather than attempt small talk, I focused on climbing the ridge. The ground crumbled to ashes as my heavy metal boots dug into it; I could hear the earth shift. I crested the ridge and looked down. The gaping mouth of a cave awaited.

I cast a great wave of ash and gravel as I slid down the hill to the mouth of the cave. Nick had just come over the ridge; I waited until I could see him before turning to the cave.

Roaring. Loud, savage roaring.

My head turned just in time for me to see the deathclaw's hand slap me square in the chest. I stumbled back two feet and looked down at the long scratches. _Sorry Sturges; looks like I'll need another patch-up job._

“Shouldn't you be extinct,” Nick yelled as he peppered the deathclaw's hide with bullets.

The deathclaw snarled and charged him, but Nick dodged the rampaging beast with ease. Still a little dazed, I raised 111 and aimed for the deathclaw's left leg. Most of my bullets hit the ground worthlessly, but a few managed to hit their mark. The deathclaw turned sharply and came barrelling towards me; I fired into its stomach, making the beast cringe.

“Keep on its belly,” Nick roared over the deathclaw's cries of anguish, “it's weak there!”

Nick began unloading shell after shell into its stomach from his shotgun; I kept a steady stream of 10mm peppering into it, but mostly kept it on a merry chase away from Nick. Finally the deathclaw let out a strangled roar and fell, dead, at my feet.

“Nice work, Nick.”

“You too.”

We both looked at the mouth of the cave.

“Virgil's in there? Guy must be off his rocker,” Nick said.

“He's part of the Institute. I think being a little nuts is a requirement to be a scientist there,” I replied.

Nick reloaded his shotgun. “Shall we?”

“By all means,” I said.

We entered the cave.

 


End file.
